Paying Kids for Good Grades....To Do It or Not To Do It?

Getting good grades is top of mind for child and parent. Some parents entertain the idea of paying kids for good grades. Have you thought about it? Do you fear that if you give money to your kids for getting good grades that it will undermine your child's self esteem, motivation to achieve and that they will become to dependent on performance?

Positive reinforcement is one of the most effective strategies for raising positive and motivated boys or girls. But, is paying for grades positive reinforcement or are you bribing your children and teaching them a mixed message?

Follow up:

In the real world we get punished when we do bad things and rewarded for doing good things.
We start out teaching our kids about this early in their life. We are consistently rewarding kids with hugs, kisses and verbal praises. Developing good behavior patterns coupled with positive reinforcement produces a healthier self image than that of a child who is affirmed for merely being who they are. To reward a child for what they are already able to do well instead of what they work hard to do because they do not do it well affects the results of the reward system and the behavior of the child.

Think about how you positively reinforce your child's behavior and how their individual personality processes the reward, and most importantly evaluate how you implement your reward program.

Things to consider:

Older children have more complex motivations. Every day you should listen to and observe your child and determine what gets them moving, what makes them excited. Some kids find money a natural motivator, others the key may be increased freedom, activities with friends, cell phone privileges, extra ring tones, itunes money, a later bedtime, curfew or competition. Every kid is different, so take time to know what motivates your kid before you begin paying them for grades. It is critical that you know and understand what motivates your child so that you can put into place a reward system that will positively impact your child and your family.

Be aware there is a difference between bribing and reinforcing your child. Short and to the point, bribery is giving in to your child when they have not earned a reward. Reinforcement simply put is earning the reward. We all know that bribery stinks, and reinforcement rocks. We've all seen it....in the shopping center, at the market, out in public areas when parents who give in too early produce spoiled brats, and parents that work their reward system with purpose create responsible and likable kids.
Simple? Sure. Easy? Of course not.

1 Be clear regarding your standards and rewards.
Five dollars for an "A", three dollars for a "B" one dollar for a "C".
Or the child who finds greater difficulty at school you may consider five dollars for
a passing report for the course. Then bonus them if all their grades are passing.
Make goals attainable and challenging.
To keep the rules clear and understood write a contract, post it on the refrigerator.
You do not what any misunderstanding at a later date.

2 Set your child up for success.
Require that all homework to be finished every night.
Have your child show you each assignment and confirm it is completed.
If you know your child forgets easily or possibly will lie to you about
their assignments then work out a plan with their teachers to email you
their assignments every day until you work through the issue.
Don't let anyone tell you that this is hand holding....you tell then you are
training your child! There is a big difference. For those of you that think
this is a lot of work, I have only one response. It is! But it will be worth
it in the end.

3 Once you have a standard reinforcement program working successfully,
it is great to add occasionally unpredictable reward for your child.
Think about the casino slot machines....they are a most powerful form of
training known to mankind....this is a variable ratio reinforcement technique.
Varying amounts of a reward given after a varying number of responses--this is what
really enforces learning. How does this affect rewarding my child? Well, it is
time to find ways to surprise your child with a reward for some
small success they have had on their path to better grades. Catch them studying some
afternoon and whimsically give them a hug or something they may enjoy doing with
you. Be prepared because this will confuse them..... but the key is to be
unpredictable,it will impact them on a level you never knew you had access to.

4 This may seem without say, but make sure you follow up and pay your child their
money when they earn good grades or if you have promised a later bedtime or
curfew....then reward them for a job well done. It is shocking to me how many parents
do not follow through with the predetermined agreement and then some how they are
shocked and disappointment when their kid stops doing the work! When the child then
reverts back to the old behaviors... and the parents are angry? That is twisted
in my mind...the kids should be rewarded in the fashion the family has agreed upon.

I caution families to think deeply about rewarding good grades with money. Think long and hard about how your child is motivated. If there are other options....try them first. Save the money for later....there are so many ways to connect to your child...but if you do elect to use payment for grades as a program.... then pay up on time!